I Met Mr Darcy Via Luton Read online

  Elizabeth Bennet had been obliged, by the scarcity of gentlemen, to sit down for two dances; and during part of that time, Mr Darcy had been standing near enough for her to hear a conversation between him and Mr Bingley, who had encountered his friend on his way back to Miss Jane Bennet from the punch bowl.

  "Come, Darcy," said he, "I must have you dance. I hate to see you standing about by yourself in this stupid manner. You had much better dance."

  "I certainly shall not. Your sisters are engaged, and there is not another woman in the room whom it would not be a punishment to me to stand up with."

  "I would not be so fastidious as you are," cried Mr Bingley, "for a kingdom! Upon my honour, I never met with so many pleasant girls in my life as I have this evening; and there are several of them you see uncommonly pretty."

  "You were dancing with the handsomest girl in the room," said Mr Darcy, looking at the eldest Miss Bennet.

  "Oh! Jane is the most beautiful creature I ever beheld! But Miss Elizabeth is sitting down just behind you. She is also very pretty."

  Mr Darcy was well aware that Miss Elizabeth was behind him. He had spent all night averting his eyes from her form and had eventually found the only remedy for his wayward gaze was to turn his back on her.

  "She is tolerable," he replied, "but not handsome enough to tempt me; I am in no humour at present to give consequence to young ladies who are slighted by other men. You had better return to your partner and enjoy her smiles, for you are wasting your time with me."

  Mr Bingley was deeply embarrassed by his friend's reply, which he had blurted so loudly that he wondered if Darcy was perhaps suffering temporary deafness from the loud music. He had noticed Miss Elizabeth shift in her seat and avert her gaze to the opposite side of the room.

  From the looks that were being directed towards Darcy, several other people in the vicinity had also clearly heard his reply. One of these was Dr Gregory, who was affronted by Darcy's ungentleman-like behaviour.

  In a fit of gallantry, he stepped forward, praised Miss Elizabeth's beauty and humbly sought her hand for the next dance. Dr Gregory knew he was being a bit forward, especially since Mr Darcy could be a potential patron. But he could not ignore that gentleman's rude snub to such a pleasant and lovely lady.

  "My pleasure, Dr Gregory," replied Miss Elizabeth. "I would be honoured to take a turn around the room with a gentleman."

  Darcy felt the admonition like a slap in the face.

  Chapter 7: Postmortem

  Mrs Bennet raked over the ball in excruciating detail at breakfast the next morning, ostensibly for Mr Bennet's benefit.

  "Oh! my dear Mr Bennet," she said as she buttered some toast, "we had a most delightful evening, a most excellent ball. I wish you had been there. Jane was so admired; everybody said how well she looked. Mr Bingley thought her quite beautiful! He danced with her twice and with no other, except for Charlotte Lucas, who doesn't really count, because he could hardly avoid her when Sir William was the Master of Ceremonies! Then he sat with Jane for the rest of the evening! There was nothing like it!"

  She stopped to take a sip of tea. Mr Bennet continued to chew his ham.

  "Oh! my dear, I am quite delighted with him. He is so excessively handsome! And his sisters are charming women. I never in my life saw anything more elegant than their dresses. I dare say the lace upon Mrs Hurst's gown…"

  "Stop, Mrs Bennet!" interposed Mr Bennet, "No lace! You know descriptions of finery are verboten." Mrs Bennet changed tack but did not take a breath.

  "Oh, but, Mr Darcy! I could not believe how rude he was!–particularly after he sent Mary the piano! So high and so conceited that there was no enduring him! He walked here, and he walked there, fancying himself so very great! He slighted poor Lizzy, you know, and flatly refused to stand up with her!"

  Mr Bennet looked to Lizzy for confirmation. She returned a weak smile.

  "Not handsome enough to dance with!" continued Mrs Bennet. "That's what he said!–within earshot of several people, including Lizzy! I wished you had been there, my dear, to have given him one of your set-downs, but then lo! What should happen? but Dr Gregory put him in his place!"

  Mr Bennet raised his eyebrows at Lizzy.

  Mrs Bennet added jam to her toast then continued with her knife aloft for extra emphasis, "He walked right past Mr Darcy and begged her very prettily for her hand in the next set! And do you know what she said in reply? She said she would be honoured to take a turn around the room with a gentleman!"

  Mr Bennet's lips twisted into a wry smile, which he hid with his cup of coffee. "Indeed?" he replied with affected nonchalance.

  "Perhaps Mr Darcy had the headache, Mama," offered Mary.

  Everyone stared at her.

  "But I can assure you," Mrs Bennet added, "that Lizzy does not lose much by not suiting his fancy; for he is a most disagreeable, horrid man, not at all worth pleasing."

  "Indeed," said Mr Bennet, squeezing Lizzy's hand, "He is obviously a man of little discernment."

  After breakfast, the girls put on their bonnets and went out into the garden. Lydia and Kitty headed for the swing, and Mary set off for the rose garden with a book. When Jane and Elizabeth were alone, the former, who had been cautious in her praise of Mr Bingley before, expressed to her sister just how very much she admired him.

  "He is just what a young man ought to be," said she, "sensible, good-humoured, lively; and I never saw such happy manners!–so much ease, with such perfect good breeding!"

  "He is also handsome," replied Elizabeth, "which a young man ought to be, if he possibly can."

  "I was very flattered that he chose to sit down and talk with me when my ankle began to ache, even after I encouraged him to continue dancing."

  "Well, he certainly is very agreeable, and I give you leave to like him. You have liked many a stupider person."

  Jane smiled at her sister's tart tongue.

  Lizzy continued, "And so you like this man's sisters, too, do you? Their manners are not equal to his."

  "Certainly not–at first. But they are very pleasing women when you converse with them. Miss Bingley is to live with her brother and keep his house; and I am much mistaken if we shall not find a very charming neighbour in her."

  Lizzy could think of nothing kind to say in reply to this: she had thought the sisters rather haughty, so she continued to diligently clip lavender.

  "You seemed to talk for quite some time with Dr Gregory after your dance," said Jane. "He is also a very handsome man…"

  "He is, isn't he?" said Lizzy enthusiastically. "I asked him if he had need of an assistant in the infirmary. I'm going to walk into Meryton this afternoon for a trial."

  "An assistant?" asked Jane. "Surely you don't intend to work in a shop! I don't think Mama will like that at all!"

  "Hush," said Lizzy. "It is not paid, and nothing may come of it. But I am very interested to know more of what he does. Will you not walk in with me at least? You can always do some shopping."

  "And what excuse should I give for coming home without you?"

  "Why, that I stayed with Charlotte, or some such…"

  "I don't know, Lizzy. If Mama should find out… I do not like it!"

  "Nonsense," said Lizzy, "she will say I am being very sly!"

  They both laughed at this, but then Jane became more pensive.

  "Did Mr Darcy really say that about you? I cannot believe it of a friend of Mr Bingley! Although it was very strange that he danced so little."

  "Perhaps he has two left feet or prefers the company of men," replied Elizabeth.

  "Lizzy!" said Jane, scandalised. "I saw him dance with the Bingley sisters, and he danced very well."

  "Looks like the men, then. Particularly if he can only do the pretty with his friend's sisters and one of them married, at that."

  "Lizzy, next you'll be proclaiming that he and Mr Bingley are an item!"

  "You said it. It's the obvious, next deduction."

  Jane pursed her lips. "Lizzy, pe
rhaps he is shy?"

  "Very well, he shall be shy. Now, no more of Mr Darcy! When is your wedding to Mr Bingley?"

  The sisters burst out giggling.

  Chapter 8: The Lucases' party

  The Bennet ladies next encountered the inhabitants of Netherfield at a soirée at Lucas Lodge to welcome the militia to Meryton. The Netherfield party arrived early. Hurst had declined to attend, citing fatigue, so they all fit comfortably into Mr Darcy's town chaise. The gentlemen descended from the carriage first. They were less formally attired for the soirée than for the Meryton Assembly, in buff knee breeches and tailcoats. Mr Bingley handed his sisters out of the carriage. They had shown no similar restraint, being again bedizened in jewellery, silks and feathers. Mr Darcy's arm was duly appropriated by Mr Bingley's sister, Caroline, who tilted her chin up in preparation for their grand entrance. Charles offered his arm to his married sister, Louisa.

  Upon their announcement, Sir William Lucas rushed over to welcome the grand party to his humble abode. It was, of course, anything but, being far more ostentatiously furnished than any home in the district. Lucas Lodge was second only to Netherfield in size and general grandeur, but it had benefited from more lavish application of money and attention over the past decade.

  Upon looking about the room, Bingley was disappointed to see that Miss Jane Bennet had not yet arrived, but graciously joined a group including Charlotte Lucas and some of the militia officers.

  Mr Darcy was glad of the temporary reprieve from Miss Elizabeth's presence. He had admonished himself for being so gauche at the Meryton Assembly: in his poor simulacrum of indifference, he had been unpardonably uncivil. He was determined to do better tonight.

  He began a polite conversation with Colonel Forster, the commander of the militia regiment, but was heartily bored of this after the first fifteen minutes. It was obvious that Colonel Forster had not had the benefit of a university education.

  The Longbourn ladies arrived half an hour late, having been delayed by Kitty who could not find one of her slippers. The sisters were charmingly dressed in pastel-coloured muslins.

  Lydia ran to greet the ensigns Denny and Sanderson, who were billeted with Mrs Long. The young officers had already met the Bennet sisters in town, and Miss Lydia had promised them lots of fun at the soirée.

  Her progress was watched with fondness by Colonel Forster, who had recently taken a wife not much older than Lydia, and some twenty years his junior.

  Bingley made a beeline for Miss Jane Bennet, and Darcy took advantage of the distraction by removing himself to the fire to lean upon the mantel. The over-mantel was graced with an enormous mirror, which reflected the light from a pair of candelabra placed in front of it, and Darcy found that he could surreptitiously observe Miss Elizabeth by looking into it. He spent the next half-hour engrossed in this sport.

  His attention did not go unnoticed by Charlotte, who had been wandering around the room making introductions. Satisfied with her endeavours, she sought out her best friend, Lizzy, who had just selected a cucumber sandwich from a tray.

  "Mr Darcy looks at you a great deal, Lizzy," said Charlotte.

  "Well, I suppose he has to look somewhere," Lizzy retorted; "after all there are only a limited number of objects in the room… Perhaps we could solve his dilemma by cutting everything into small pieces."

  Charlotte made a face at her friend, and they joined a new group that had formed around Dr Gregory and Colonel Forster.

  Remarking on the scar upon Colonel Forster's neck, Dr Gregory asked if he had been wounded in battle. This might have been deemed a gross impertinence in someone else, but it was allowable conversation for a doctor. For his part, Colonel Forster could not have been more pleased, as it gave him a chance to puff off his war exploits without bringing the subject up himself. Thus he related the story of his last engagement in India; how he had been shipped back to England to recuperate; and how he'd met his wife, who was an orphaned officer's daughter, on the journey. She had made the passage infinitely more comfortable by her solicitations. The ship’s captain had married them on board.

  Dr Gregory smiled upon Mrs Forster. "Indeed, I have also found a superlative nurse," he said, glancing at Elizabeth; "who does not even swoon at the sight of blood!"

  "Indeed, I am very good at holding a bowl," laughed Lizzy.

  Colonel Forster seemed to be very impressed with this and offered in the way of a compliment: "It is my experience that many females cannot cope with the sight of blood."

  "What strange females," murmured Lizzy.

  Charlotte gave her a look.

  "That is why men, alone, must go to war!" declared Colonel Forster. "We couldn't have soldiers swooning on the battlefield!"

  Mrs Forster gave a girlish giggle and squeezed her husband's arm. Despite their age difference, she viewed him as a saviour: she had been destined for a life as a drudge in her aunt's house.

  "Really?" said Lizzy, a little nettled. "How strange… I thought that females stayed behind to allow the population to be replenished quickly."

  "Population?" frowned Colonel Forster.

  "Well, yes, because of the disparity in the participation times of reproduction," added Lizzy.

  Charlotte elbowed her in the ribs.

  As Lizzy was now having trouble keeping a straight face, she gave a quick curtsy and turned to make her escape. She ran smack bang into Mr Darcy, who had come up behind her to eavesdrop.

  "Oof," she said, stepping backwards and bringing her hand to her injured nose.

  Mr Darcy excused himself.

  Lizzy glared at him and marched off to the refreshments table. Charlotte stopped to exchange a few words with Mr Darcy and then followed her.

  "Lizzy, you should be more careful talking in mixed company. Colonel Forster might've understood you."

  "I'm sorry, Charlotte, but everyone knows women bleed, so it was a ridiculously condescending thing for him to say. Sometimes I feel like I'm having the same conversation over and over again at these parties, and it was boring the first time."

  Charlotte attempted to get Lizzy out of her rut. "You see, I was right about Mr Darcy. He had come over to listen to you."

  "Surely he was just passing at an unfortunate moment."

  "Not at all. He was hovering behind you for a good few minutes."

  "Well, I can tell you this, Charlotte–he has a very hard chest. I'm sure it would have been far more comfortable to run into your father."

  This at last made Charlotte smile. Her father had indeed developed a paunch during his time as mayor and had been steadily adding to it since.

  "Well, Lizzy, I think it's time to open the instrument, and you know what follows."

  "Oh, Charlotte, you are a very strange creature by way of a friend!–always wanting me to play and sing before anybody and everybody! If my vanity had taken a musical turn, you would have been invaluable. I would really rather not sit down before those who must be in the habit of hearing the very best performers."

  "Oh, come, come, Lizzy. Will you sing if I play?"

  Lizzy sighed. "If you must expose us both to censure, then lead on."

  Charlotte was well satisfied. She played tolerably but knew Lizzy's singing to be superlative. She saw her father nod approvingly as they moved towards the instrument.

  Lizzy began her song and Darcy was riveted.

  After the opening bars, he took several unconscious steps towards the piano before he realised what he was doing. Just what I needed! he thought. She sings like a siren, too!

  The ladies received justifiable applause, and Charlotte happily ceded her place at the piano to Mary.

  "He was looking at you again," whispered Charlotte as she gathered her sheet music.

  "Charlotte, it is normal for people to look at you when you're singing. You would have better noted his expression, which was one of a man in pain. No doubt he was thinking of more cutting things he could say about me."

  Lizzy did not say anything further to Charlotte, but
she had also noticed that Caroline Bingley had walked up to Mr Darcy to exchange words with him during Lizzy's song, and the expression on that lady's face was quite readable to another female: it was one of sheer nastiness.

  They merged back among the guests as Mary settled in for a long stint at the piano, but she had only completed two Scottish airs when Lydia rushed up to her. "Give us a jig, Mary. We would like to dance!"

  Upon Mary's reluctant acquiescence, a group consisting of the young officers, the two younger Bennet sisters and Miss Mariah Lucas formed a set in the end of the room. Jane and Bingley soon joined them.

  As the first dance ended, Sir William approached Mr Darcy, who had retreated to the mantel to compose himself. He had not resumed watching Miss Eliza in the mirror, as he considered this too dangerous a sport in his present mood; instead, he stared into the flames.

  "What a charming amusement for young people this is, Mr Darcy!" said Sir William, coming up to his elbow. "There is nothing like dancing, after all. I consider it as one of the first refinements of polished society."

  Mr Darcy knew what Sir William was about and wasn't going to play ball. He hadn't cared to dance at the assembly, and he would be damned if he would dance at Sir William's soirée.

  "Certainly, sir," he replied; "and it has the advantage also of being in vogue amongst the less polished societies of the world. Every savage can dance."

  At this moment Miss Elizabeth passed before them; and Sir William, seeing an opportunity to paper over the unpleasantness at the assembly, captured her gloved hand.

  "Mr Darcy, will you not partake of the entertainment? You must allow me to present Miss Elizabeth to you as a very desirable partner," he said as he offered her captured wrist.

  Elizabeth blanched, Damn Sir William's clumsy chivalry!

  "Indeed, sir," she protested. "I have not the least intention of dancing. I entreat you not to suppose that I moved this way in order to beg for a partner."